Fake o' Fake

For long, I was longing to write about the inner workings of Indian cine industry, especially the Tamil cine industry, fondly called as Kollywood. After the fame of Fake IPL Player, I decided to follow along the same lines and write some truths which only the fakeful and famous will know.

Where do I start? OK.. I was watching 'Coffin with Thanu' last Saturday and was surprised to see Thumbikka and Chinnaponnu (I used to wonder why Thanu has never called for her show Chinnaponnu, who has acted opposite all the leading stars). It was good to see Thumbikka in a very jolly and jovial mood in the show - total opposite to most of the roles given to her. Chinnaponnu, though, was the bratty bitch that some of us have witnessed in the sets and elsewhere.

Being the pomp heroines of the early-mid 90's, Thumbikka and her sis Dhara were known as the 'keeps of the famous u-no-who' until his death on one chilly cold morning. They were apparently relieved by his death, but unfortunately both were past their prime. Thumbikka soon got married, and Dhara turned out to be opposite of how she was during her young time; yes, she got too phat to be carried by our choplaangi heroes during songs, and, ahem, elsewhere. I was surprised to see Thumbikka make a comeback, but when we learnt that it was opposite the Valarndhu Kettavan, we knew why. Valarndhu Kettavan is known to have a liking for his heroines, especially those who acted opposite him during his early days.

Back to the Cappuccino show, the funny moment was when Thumbikka chose Boneless Chimp as her favorite to gift the Cappuccino mug, for his, well, dancing skills. Bravo, Thumbikka, for doing so, keeping Chinna Ponnu beside her. Or, is there a pun in that too, since Boneless Chimp was the only guy with whom Chinna Ponnu (who, I just learnt, is engaged to, hold ur breath, a software engineer from Bangalore! - talk of low profile and 'ilicha vaayan') was rumored to have a special relationship. Remember the movie whose title is the TN government's slogan for family control during the 80's? Chinna Ponnu was unusually exposing in a song from that movie with a beardless and boneless chimp and she showed excellent chemistry, physics, biology, maths, everything with him - unlike with any other star (in Tamil industry at least; Gulti industry spares no one, whomever any heroine acts opposite).

When I heard of the news of Chinna Ponnu's wedding, I wanted to know what her age is. She seems to be a perennial actress - for over 27 years. She's gotta be 6 or 7 during her first movie with Jilebi in 1982, which means she was 16 or 17 while acting opposite Gajininath 10 years later. She looked much more gorgeous than that - must be some special hormones her famous mommyguard would have injected her with, and the hands of so many south Indian cine personnel.