Chimp and gang

Have you noticed how media sometimes portray pussy celebrities as though they are jaguars and lions? One such mega-hype is on Boneless chimp. Just bcos a show is named after him, the Vicked Jackass (VJ) of that show keeps elevating him to such a high status that someone from Mars would mistake the chimp to an endangered species which is very difficult to meet. Come on idiots, chimp has acted with every Tom, Dick and Harry. True, he is a good dancer, but his acting career was going nowhere. So, he decided to try direction and got lucky with a gulti movie which was generously lifted from two hindi movies.

Back to the point, all the participants of the show talk and behave as if getting a chance to meet him is like meeting the almighty. The cute girl of the show, beware! Chimp is quite known for his mischiefs while acting with his female costars and dancers. I'm not claiming that they are pathini's but, misbehaving openly in sets in front of everyone! I wish someone told him, "Get a room or cage, chimp!" I am one of the very happy people upon hearing the happy news that his most recent movie, named as Jillu or Dillu or something has flopped. Hopefully the limping chimp will take a break, get his punched nose repair and, decide to only choreograph.

While on him, many people dont know that he impregnated a Muslim codancer 'accidentally' before his acting career took off. His chimp family, especially the master dad didnt approve of his affair at all; chimp initially thought he can ditch his girl, but pressure from that girl made him to marry her secretly. That didnt stop him from flirting, or having affair with Chinnaponnu. What is it with dance masters and actresses? Typical to the way they show in movies that a girl falls for dancing hero, it happens in the cine industry too. 

Chimp's elder bro chimp Raw Juice Undavan had surprised everyone in the industry by making Slim,run! fall for him when she was at pomp. Thankfully better sense prevailed and they broke off. Raw juice was already sad that his younger bro Chimp overtook him in the race for wedding, and, after the added insult of breakup with Slim, he still continues to remain unmarried. Both bros are known for their hot temper in sets. Raw Juice tried to imitate his bro in directing, but his movie, 'Sogan', flopped badly. Now, the only significant good thing that can happen in his life is his wedding. Pity the girl who is chosen to marry him.

Remember Slim's sis, Koanal? Poor she fell for an ugly-looking Press Enna, the bro of the dancing sisters Palaa and Parundha. What a bajaari family theirs is! Poor Koanal (may her departed soul rest in peace!) escaped getting married to that family but her death was sad. How much fuss Palaa and Parundha made right after her death. I hated Palaa after that, and oh boy, was I not happy to hear about her divorce with the brother of the 'friendly' actress! OK, let me stop now.. this dirty Kollywood is so much inter-linked that nobody will be left out if I don't stop at some point.

Good Luck, Mama!

At last, some good luck for the good luck star! He had a troubled last few years, what with flops in his marital life and cine career. Thanks to some ardent fan of his, his Mrs., whom many of us who attended his wedding felt, looked like his elder sister, was already married and separated without a formal divorce. Talk of a twist bigger than a megaserial! 

Mama, as we fondly call him, is for 'Malaysian Machan'. Mama was hotly sought after in the nearby country wherein Tamil women have enough money to buy male celebs. He could be seen more in that country than India, which made his directors shift the shooting spot to that small beautiful country (Remember the movie which completes the dyad Laila-......?) His Malaysian connection was so strong that, the friendly heroine who was introduced in his movie was introduced into this Malaysian trip thing to satiate Malaysian men. To our surprise, she caught a big fish, oops.. sorry.. snake Sun. That snake escaped from her friendly grasp after making a big fuss. 

Back to Mama.. nobody told him that not all hit movies of 80's can be remade. Trying to imitate Head's success, Mama has chosen his son's Thatha's old movie just coz the title has a village sounding similar to his favorite country. Talk of nostalgia! Apparently that decision was made so that he can roam bare-chested in the entire movie, thus widening his saleability to countries beyond far east. Even actors are affected by recession, you see..

Fake o' Fake

For long, I was longing to write about the inner workings of Indian cine industry, especially the Tamil cine industry, fondly called as Kollywood. After the fame of Fake IPL Player, I decided to follow along the same lines and write some truths which only the fakeful and famous will know.

Where do I start? OK.. I was watching 'Coffin with Thanu' last Saturday and was surprised to see Thumbikka and Chinnaponnu (I used to wonder why Thanu has never called for her show Chinnaponnu, who has acted opposite all the leading stars). It was good to see Thumbikka in a very jolly and jovial mood in the show - total opposite to most of the roles given to her. Chinnaponnu, though, was the bratty bitch that some of us have witnessed in the sets and elsewhere.

Being the pomp heroines of the early-mid 90's, Thumbikka and her sis Dhara were known as the 'keeps of the famous u-no-who' until his death on one chilly cold morning. They were apparently relieved by his death, but unfortunately both were past their prime. Thumbikka soon got married, and Dhara turned out to be opposite of how she was during her young time; yes, she got too phat to be carried by our choplaangi heroes during songs, and, ahem, elsewhere. I was surprised to see Thumbikka make a comeback, but when we learnt that it was opposite the Valarndhu Kettavan, we knew why. Valarndhu Kettavan is known to have a liking for his heroines, especially those who acted opposite him during his early days.

Back to the Cappuccino show, the funny moment was when Thumbikka chose Boneless Chimp as her favorite to gift the Cappuccino mug, for his, well, dancing skills. Bravo, Thumbikka, for doing so, keeping Chinna Ponnu beside her. Or, is there a pun in that too, since Boneless Chimp was the only guy with whom Chinna Ponnu (who, I just learnt, is engaged to, hold ur breath, a software engineer from Bangalore! - talk of low profile and 'ilicha vaayan') was rumored to have a special relationship. Remember the movie whose title is the TN government's slogan for family control during the 80's? Chinna Ponnu was unusually exposing in a song from that movie with a beardless and boneless chimp and she showed excellent chemistry, physics, biology, maths, everything with him - unlike with any other star (in Tamil industry at least; Gulti industry spares no one, whomever any heroine acts opposite).

When I heard of the news of Chinna Ponnu's wedding, I wanted to know what her age is. She seems to be a perennial actress - for over 27 years. She's gotta be 6 or 7 during her first movie with Jilebi in 1982, which means she was 16 or 17 while acting opposite Gajininath 10 years later. She looked much more gorgeous than that - must be some special hormones her famous mommyguard would have injected her with, and the hands of so many south Indian cine personnel.